Do you grumble when things don’t go your way? Do you get angry when something goes awry and takes extra time? Are you feeling like you’re spinning your wheels because every time you turn around there’s something else that comes up and makes you go off track?
Ooooooo I’ve been there. I’ve SOOOOO been there! And honestly, these simple things…these little annoyances…steal our joy!
It seems so unfair!
And then the guilt sets in. Not only have you gotten ticked about something small, but you’re taking it out on everyone else. Even if it’s just in a little way like not smiling at your child when they talk to you. And you look back and feel awful. You kick yourself for not being a better mom, not being able to handle the easy stuff.
It just makes you feel like you want to start over, but instead, it creates this vicious cycle. ‘Cause now you’re feeling even worse, and that is changing your mood by the minute! Suddenly there’s this downward spiral you can’t seem to get unstuck from.
And at the end of the day, you’re weary. And feeling defeated. Ever crawl into bed feeling like you simply failed at every turn?
First of all, let me tell you this….
You are a good mom!!!
And our kids are pretty forgiving.
So what can we do?
First of all, there will always be things that come up. Spilled milk, cat throw up, a broken dish. And once those things happen, there is literally no turning back time to change what happened.
You cannot change the past.
And getting angry will not make anything better. Feeling defeated will not make anything better. Yelling out of frustration will not make anything better.
So let’s just start there. Nothing you can do will undo what just happened. Why waste a single second of your life feeling miserable over what cannot be changed?
I know this seems unrealistic. But really, who controls our minds?
We do. We have all the power. Do you hear me? We get to decide how we react!
This is simply a mindset. Go into your day joyful, grateful, feeling blessed. And stay that way. How you think will directly relate to how you act.
Today I woke up to a foot of snow. Yes, third nor’easter in about two weeks. I also happen to live in the snowiest city in the country. So we shovel. Often. I have a pretty big driveway and have to drive my son to school before heading to work. My husband’s job has him at work around 4 am this time of year so he can’t help. So out I went to shovel. Got my two sons to help. And as we shoveled, I remembered back to a day several years ago where I had to shovel by myself. There was a lot of snow, it was deep! And I was by myself and had to get out. It hadn’t been a great day to begin with and I was ‘in a mood’ so to speak. You probably know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I started feeling that bitterness and frustration creep in as I shoveled. It was as if I got angrier with each scoop.
And I didn’t like how I was thinking.
Seriously, why should I let my circumstances determine my mood, ruin my day?
So I did something has literally changed the way I think. I started saying, out loud, what I was thankful for. “Thank you for a shovel.” “Thank you for a warm coat.” “Thank you for a car to take me places I need to go.” “Thank you for a strong enough back.” “Thank you for snow light enough to lift.” “Thank you that it’s not 20 below.” “Thank you for a driveway.”
So did I still have to shovel? Of course. But slowly, the anger lifted and by the time I was done, I felt so much better. I came in to a warm house with a good attitude and took on the day. I was content. And joyful. Had I not started naming the things I was thankful for, I would’ve been in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Little things would have bothered me. I would’ve been impatient. I simply would not have had a good day.
See? Life changing!
I know days can be tough. But next time you are in the middle of a mess, a hard time, start naming what you are thankful for out loud. Name them, think about them. Seriously. And keep naming them until you start to feel the anger and frustration melt away.
If you’d like to share how gratitude has helped you in difficult situations, I’d love to hear from you! Go have a fabulous day!